When going green has gone too far

Jessica Lee, LCI account coordinator here.

 

In third grade, my class did a play about Earth Day. I was assigned the unfortunate role of playing Mother Earth. I stood on stage with my head  poking through a large blue sheet painted with the seven continents as my classmates walked by and hurled (empty) bottles, paper and other trash at me.

 

These days, it seems like I’m still being bombarded – luckily, not with trash, but with ‘green’ and eco-friendly messages about changing our lifestyles in order to save the environment. You can buy eco-friendly clothing, take eco-friendly vacations and even have a green burial.

 

Now, I care about the environment as much as the next person. I love our green clients here at LCI, such as the California Academy of Sciences , LS9 (a renewable biofuels company) and Save the Redwoods League. I also try to do my part to help the environment as much as I can – recycling, using reuseable shopping bags and installing CFL bulbs – but sometimes this green trend has gone a little too far. Before you go calling the EPA on me for being blasphemous, check out these extreme green products and you’ll see what I mean:

 

Reuseable toilet paper

The folks at Wallypop have created  reusable toilet wipes. Yes, you heard me right. Here’s how it works. After you cleanse yourself, toss the wipe in a bag or diaper pail until laundry day. Toss them in the washing machine with hot water and dry them in the dryer – but make sure to wash the wipes separately from your other clothes!

 

‘Freegans’

A new trend that’s grown out of both the recession and our obsession with green is ‘freeganism.’ Freegans (free + vegan) demonstrate their opposition to over-consumption and capitalism by dumpster-diving for food that grocery stores have thrown out. Some freegans collect ‘humanure’ – using human waste for compost. No thank you!

 

Reusable feminine hygiene products

Products like the Diva Cup are reusable alternatives to tampons. There are even websites out there that teach you how to sew your own cloth pads. Gross, but I guess that’s what women had to do before disposable products were invented…

 

Recycling your body

Some people donate their organs after death, but how about turning yourself into a birdfeeder? Nadine Jarvis will mix your ashes with bird food..and the circle of life continues. If shiny things are more up your alley, Life Gem  can turn you into a sparkling diamond. Creepy.

 

‘Carborexia’

Apparantly, some people are so eco-friendly that they’ve become ‘carborexic.’ An article in the New York Times reported that the compulsion to go green may be a mental disorder. Symptoms may include: only buying and using eco-friendly products, only eating organic foods, and criticizing friends and family who aren’t green enough. How long before the Olsen twins become carborexic?

 

Going green is great, but there are just some things I won’t do – sorry, Mother Earth, don’t hate me! And happy Earth Day (April 22), everyone!

 

And now, some Buzzworthy items for your enjoyment:

Give a gift, save a redwood – Save the Redwoods League is offering redwood seedlings gifts. For a donation of $50 or more, the League will plant a redwood in your loved one’s honor to help forest restoration in California state parks. A great gift idea for Mother’s Day! Click here for more details.

 Ocean Beach – My favorite place to be on a warm weekend! Sand, sun, surf and surfers – what could be more perfect? Learn more about visiting Ocean Beach here.

 Brenda’s French Soul Food – A great place for creole-style brunch! Their fresh, savory crawfish beignets are to die for. Get here early to avoid the long wait though, or your stomach will hate you for making it wait! Check out their website here.