By Hilary Burns, Assistant Account Executive at LCI
I read Dale Carnegie’s timeless book, How to Win Friends and Influence People more than a year ago. I was so impressed with its human-relations tips that I’ve been applying them to my life every day since. I keep many of Carnegie’s tips top-of-mind when interacting with my colleagues, friends, family and even strangers. I have found that understanding the motivations and thought processes of others can ultimately help you get what you want.
Here are some of my favorite Dale Carnegie tips:
- Listen
Being a good conversationalist is not about how well you speak, but rather howwell you listen. If you encourage others to lead a conversation and participate as an active listener, your colleagues will feel appreciated and will regard you as a good conversationalist.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie - Make others feel important
One of the easiest ways to make people like you is to make them feel important. The desire to feel important is at the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. A great way to do this is to provide colleagues with compliments, remember their significant life events and show interest in their personal lives.
- Don’t complain, criticize or condemn
A valuable principle in relationships is to avoid criticizing, complaining and condemning others. Blaming or criticizing a colleague doesn’t solve problems. But it could create resentment. A better approach is to be proactive and provide recommendations and guidance for the future.
- Appreciate others’ work
People will go the extra mile to get appreciation. If a colleague has just secured a great placement, landed an interview with a high-profile reporter or completed a big deliverable, be sure to offer sincere appreciation. If your coworkers feel valued and appreciated, they will continue to work harder and will be happier in their job. - Smile
The best way to make a good first impression is so simple that we sometimes forget it: smile. When you smile, people feel accepted and will recognize you as an approachable person. A simple smile can go a long way! - Remember names
Since people place tremendous importance on their names, use first names often and try to remember the name of each new person you meet. A tip I have for remembering names is to greet someone, shake their hand and respond with, “it’s very nice to meet you “ and say their name. Saying someone’s name within the first 30 seconds of meeting will greatly improve your memory.
How do you win friends and influence people? Please leave your comments below or send me an email: [email protected].
Hilary,
Great summary and these tips really do work for just about everything. My dad said if you get along with people, that’s 80% of what it takes to achieve anything. There should be a smart app that helps one remember and apply these – whether in business, at a bar or at a family dinner during the holidays!
Sean
Hilary – great thoughts. . .I always like “Smile” – even when you’re on the telephone. People can tell. Great blog. Cheers, David
Thanks for such a great blog post Hilary! I really like the appreciating others work tip. A simple congratulations and a pat on the back can go a long ways in the workplace. It’s a good reminder for colleagues to slow down and celebrate victories and accomplishments. Cheer, Tarah
Nice blog post! These are timeless tips to live by – thank you for sharing them!
Well done Hilary. Great compendium and wise tips. I love and try to implement all of them but my favorite one is “Don’t complain, criticize or condemn”. Blaming doesn’t help solve problems, indeed.
Thanks for the summary post Hilary. It’s nice to be reminded of the basics – a “do unto others” approach. I also like the phrase “be interested and be interesting.” Ditto David’s comment on smiling while on the phone.
This is a great blog post!! Congratulations Hilary!!!
Great blog post Hilary!! Now I want to read this book! Good tips for the life!